But this my friends, only seems like the end.

So for the record I'm sitting on my bed, in my bedroom, in my house, at home, in E-town.
But let's start from the beginning.
On Tuesday after our evaluations we were put into teams of three and assigned another team of three group members to draw a picture of them and then write all our memories and the things that will remind us of them after the program. Me, Sarah and Jared drew Ma, Ryan and Isaac. I was priveledged to have our group artist Zoe do mine and it's absolutely amazing, beyond amazing. I seriously loved this activity because it truly will bring back memories for years to come.
Afterwards we went on our last bus ride ever to eat out at St.Patricks as a group.
It was a great last meal, filled with fun and stories.


After we walked back to catch the bus back home and I tried to absorb my last look at the beautiful old Quebec. I don't think that I ever truly appreciated to the fullest extent how lucky I was to be able to live in such a beautiful city for three entire months.
When we got home the coffee was being poured left right and center, and many games were played including jungle speed and monopoly.

As the night got on the more crazy it got, from Isaac's guitar playing, to disney songs, to my rendition of "Are you ready for me, because I'm ready for you, and I'm coming anyways.." me and Kate rolled down the hallway, blanket parties, cereal and sitting around and just enjoying eachothers company for the last moments we had left.
Ryan was keeping watch for the bus and when he said the bus was headed our way, we thought he was kidding but he was serious. We ran for the window and grabbed the Katimavik sign down in hopes that maybe they'd think it was the wrong house, but no go!
We put our luggage in the bus with tear stained cheeks and then lined up to say goodbye to an amazing PL who has helped us all in so many ways over these past 3 months. Stephane has seriously impacted us all, and taught us so much and was a constant source of entertainment.
We piled onto the bus into the only avalible seats located in the front and I consoled a broken Katelyn on my shoulder. The front of the bus was hushed low sad murmurs and tears and the back of the bus interupted the quiet with loud songs and excited chatter.
When you know your impending doom is coming, the trip always seems to shrink in length significantly. Not even 15 minutes passed before we got off the bus and group 51157 gathered in a circle. We began hugging. I hugged the precious Zoe who was so upset, promised to be Stylo Amies. I hugged Rye-Rye who agreed to be my closest FB friend again. I hugged Jared, my brother and we danced one more time. I said goodbye to my lovely evelyne who stole one last sensual moment with me. Aha, goodbye to the crazy Brandon. I hugged Sara about 20 times and told her it would be okay about a 20 more times. I hugged the tall, strong MA, and was flooded with memories and calm. Then me Sarah and Kate headed to the airport and Eve Sara and Zoe joined until the last minute, Zoe helping me with one o the suitcases. Then I sat with Katey-Roo at my gate until boarding. Saying bye to the group was heart breaking but saying goodbye to MY Katelyn, my Kate, Katey, Roo, Rooage was almost unbearable. To see her cry broke my heart into a million pieces, and the waver my voice when I yelled my final "Bye Roo!" broke it into a million and one. Katelyn looked back at me, her face in shambles and Sarah and I walked down the walkway together, her arm around me, tears streaming down my face.
The first plane ride went by quickly and I read my notes from Kate and Sara and they made me bawl all over again.
After we landed Sarah and I bee-lined for Timmies where I tried to force down some food but found it difficult with my nerves. Me and Sarah only live 3 hours apart and know our friendship will always last so we weren't too worried.
Once I got on my plane from Toronto I was exhausted and passed out for half the trip and wrote my journal for the other half.
When I got off the plane I headed to get my luggage slightly nervous but once I rounded the bend and saw my Dad and Sister I gave them a huge hug and the water works started.


We drove home and I continiously tripped out as I drove past the same buildings I had seen 6 months before, and the buses with numbers and names I all reconized.
When we got home, I unlocked the door with my own Key and my dog first barked, then growled at me, then went crazy when she realized it was me.
Hugging my dog was something I really, really wanted to do.

Now I'm all unpacked, and settled in, my souvineers are all in place, my bonhomme is on my bed.

My Quebec piece is on my bedside table..

My Character on my wall..

And my cell phone is gelled to my hand if any of my Katima buddies wanna talk.
Still running on no sleep since Monday night, I'm slightly delusional but I got to talk to Sara and Jared on skype a little bit which made me happy. I can't help but dwell on thoughts of my Katimafam and wonder how they are and if they're thinking of me too or not... but now..
I'm offically alone.
No-one from my group left to say goodbye to. It really is the strangest thing. When I left for Katimavik I cried and was so sad to leave my amazing parents, and disgustingtly apprehensive to meet my new group and now it's completely reversed. I was devestated to leave the beautiful group I can now call family and I'm extremely nervous to meet my real family again.
It's hitting me. I have to find a job now, come up with a future plan, change my phone number, write a ton of letters, remeet my friends, sleep in a real bed.
Katimavik has gotten me used to a balanced diet of bread and cereal, to eat meals with caution to avoid plastic, to find a plastic mattress with a sleeping bag draped over it comfortable. To have my every moment except 12 hours a week planned for me, to share a bathroom with 12 people, to shop with 2 carts, to see past the conflict and see the person.
It taught me that I'm a little negative sometimes but that I can change, that you can feel like family after 6 months together, and that a PL works really hard. That Canada is different, the french are different and that Quebec is a beautiful province and that Vanderhoof is a dynamic town. I learnt that there is oppertunity to grow everywhere. Whether in the four walls of a house rented by the government that's falling to pieces or in a small office alone in northern BC, or in the basement of a homeless shelter in old Quebec.
I learnt that sometimes knowing what you don't want to do is almost as good as knowing what you want to do. That growing up is more than age and has more to do with facing your realities head on, facing situations with maturity and being proud of who you are. That goodbyes are not always goodbyes but can be see you laters, that tears are fine, but appreciate how you were lucky enough to have the moment instead of just focusing on how it's no longer there.
Katimavik has opened my eyes so much and my pls, katimafam, and jobs have taught me so much about myself. In the end, I'm extremely grateful I did the program, and you know that when leaving hurts a lot, it's clear that what you're leaving behind is incredible and that's a good thing. Just as I was willing to leave everything and everyone behind to go to Katimavik now I must do the same.
Like a puzzle, we're all pieces distrubuted across Canada, but at least now we know we go together. There is something that rests the mind in the fact that that in almost any province you choose to go there will be a puzzle piece that would be more than overjoyed to reconnect again.
Endings are never easy, beginnings can be just as hard, but we may as well kept it going if we've gone this far.
I now again have the chance to reinvent myself and it's up to me to decide who I am, but I know who I am.
I'm a little bit negative with a hint of sarcasm, Im part of a family spread across the country, I'm a past resident of BC, and QC, I can speak a tad bit of French, I know what it's like starting over again while leaving something behind. I'm 18 years old and have excitement for my future, and I will always stay true to myself. I'm Kyra and I'm a Katima Victim and I will love this fact with each miniscule particle that I possess to do so.
This is just the beginning.
Group 51157 Sept '10 - Mar '11.
Thank you for following me in my journey,
if you'd like to continue to follow my day to day happenings please visit www.kyrasreality.blogspot.com